Comfort Food, Literature, and Racehorses

Today was a good day, I think. A few hours worth of laundry and cleaning cures a myriad of ills, and besides that my dear friend took me out for coffee. There are few pleasures in life that compare. Have I expressed my love for chai tea before this point? Starbucks turns it into a rather tasty latte. I got a sample of their pumpkin spice latte as well, which I may have to return for once or twice in the months to come. It's delightfully spicy in a pumpkin pie sort of way and homey at the same time. Huzzah for comfort foods.

Speaking of comfort foods... I hate using that as a link between paragraphs. It really isn't proper in the slightest, though it does give a nice conversational type tone to a piece. I digress. Comfort foods. I find my reading is heavily influenced by food and how well it's described. I've fallen in love with anything by James Herriot mainly because he gives attention to details such as food he eats and how it tastes and what the texture is like. Books seem so much more real when they mention suchlike. I continued to read Redwall-- a rather poorly written children's book revolving around talking rodents-- until I was about thirteen because I loved when Brian Jacques spent pages explaining all the dishes at the feasts. Even Tolkien manages to convey culture through various bits of hobbit food, and then later on in some Elvish treats. I think I must mimic this in my own writing, if I ever take said writing back up. I'm not sure that will happen.

School approaches rapidly. Even if I'm not really ready for it I anticipate it eagerly all the same. I feel like a racehorse at the track trying to patiently submit while all my tack is put in order. I want to be at the gate, I want to run. Races are so short though. I can't believe this is my last year at Bible school. Back to the real world come 2010. The real world is so overrated. Hey, Adam, still contemplating that protestant monastery? I'll team up with you if we can form a protestant nunnery from the same organization. Oh, that's right. You don't want to be a monk any more. Any sort of a sanctuary from the world then, to which we can retreat after doing ministry here and there. What do you say?

After a Storm

Sometimes God picks moments to wow me. Last night was one of them.

Another Ordinary Day

Cailin contemplated the fuzzy creature formed of her recently shed hair, tossing it absent mindedly into the trash. She was more interested in the hair that remained than the bits left on the floor or clogging the shower drain. Running her fingers through the wet clumps, she wiped the gathered moisture onto her jeans and frowned at the girl in the mirror. She gave her belt another swift tug, pulling another quarter inch through the buckle to make up the spare material on the end.

Squirting generous amounts of lotion onto her fingertips, she continued to observe the other young woman. She was working the moisture into her skin somewhat desperately. Cailin paused, scrutinizing, searching the face of her counterpart for a wisp of beauty. She was not vain; it was hardly a conscious thought. She sighed, scrunched her hair, watched the mirror-girl more. Unsatisfied  still, she attacked the wet tangle with a comb. It wasn't going to look right when it dried, she could tell already. A familiar disappointment settled over her, and she accepted it.

Having wasted as much time as she dared already, Cailin crossed the hall to her bedroom, wondering if she ought to change. A brighter colour? A nicer shirt, and maybe jeans that had been ironed with a crease rather than the ones she now wore would be in order. And where was that purse that matched her shoes? She rifled through useless items on her closet floor, pushing past small storage boxes and a stack of magazines. A copy of Beauty for Teens fell from the pile, and she barely caught the words on the cover as she tossed it back.

"You are beautiful."

Yeah, right, came a jaundiced voice from within, not fully formed but there all the same.

Late, Cailin blew past a second mirror in the hall and bolted out the door. Another ordinary day had begun.

*     *     *

Cailin means "girl" in gaelic. Cailin is anyone. Girls, do you relate?

Grownup Love

I've started to notice a trend in popular titles around this community...

-5 things girls should know about guys
-roughly 106 of the basics guys ought to know about girls
-some things a girl should never do to her guy
-20 things a guy ought never to say
-8 things a guy wants to hear
-650 things a girl looks for in a man
-83.574 things that should never come out of his/her mouth
-1,233 things I believe I'm entitled to in a relationship

To be entirely honest, the neat and tidy lists claiming to hold secrets to a healthy relationship seem simple and fun. Everyone clicks, everyone reads, everyone comments taking one side or another. A woman considers herself generous if she finds a few things to knock off her list, and a guy equally so if he can condescend to agreeing with a gal's verdict. Frankly, it disgusts me.

I've always thought, perhaps in the blissful idealism that accompanies teenhood, that relationships at least ought to be based on love. I'm sure many would hasten to tell me that my assumption is correct, and in fact most rapport is cemented on just such a foundation. I beg to differ. I just don't see it. When I use the word love, I mean mature, lasting love. Grownup love. By definition, "love" should be...

love   Show Spelled Pronunciation [luhv] Show IPA noun, verb, loved, lov⋅ing.

–noun

1.	a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.	a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

blahblahblah... now to what I'm getting at...

9.	affectionate concern for the wellbeing of others: the love of one's neighbor.

 

(the above courtesy of my favourite writer's tool)

 

Actually, my favourite definition happens to be from another source...

 

love  Show Spelled Pronunciation [luhv]

–noun

 

1. is patient, is kind, doesn't envy, doesn't boast, isn't proud, isn't rude, isn't self seeking, isn't easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, rejoices in truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, never fails

 

(courtesy of a book about love)

 

It seems to me this mature, grownup love has been lost in a toddler-filled world in which everyone follows the Toddler's Rules of Ownership. Our culture, far from atheistic, makes self god. Our form of holy worship, therefore, is to gratify self at all costs. Unhappy still with our graven images observed in mirrors, we cut and sew pasted grins on our idols. Naturally, dating follows the same pattern. It is selfish, designed to wring from another person the utmost pleasure and discard him or her the moment said pleasure abates. Too harsh? Think about it.

 

Although I can't speak of relationships beyond my observation, I think a better "x number of things that helps a relationship" would take after the second definition displayed. It might read

 

3 real PDAs for guys and girls

 

1. be him/her-seeking rather than self-seeking

     in action: honestly looking out for his/her needs or desires rather than your own-- and not JUST when you're in a particularly generous mood

2. take responsibility for your mistakes rather than shifting the blame

     in action: when there is a screw up, own up to your part in the matter and then let it go

3. forgive his/her mistakes before he/she asks for forgiveness (or even realizes he/she is at fault!)

     in action: forfeit your right to anything he/she might owe you-- an apology, flowers, chocolate, dinner, a phone call, an explanation, a new car-- as a result of him/her being wrong and FORGET IT EVER HAPPENED

 

or maybe

 

5 questions that'd do well to come out of a person's mouth with changes following

 

1. what do YOU want to do?

2. how can I encourage you?

3. how can I better support you?

4. is there anything I do that makes you uncomfortable?

5. how can I treat you better?

 

Grownup love isn't just a selfish emotion. It is a constant, minute by minute sacrifice. Ask any parent.

 

Are you tough enough to grow up and love?

Musings

A list of ideas for improving life back in '07 when things were much simpler...

-Don't make a habit of staying up past midnight, make that something special.
-Sleep in every chance you get, but never past ten in the morning.
-Never go anywhere without a set of keys in your pocket, house and car.
-Always write with your favourite pen-- the ink forces you to commit for better or worse.
-Never miss the chance to take a car ride, especially with someone you like.
-Always keep your Bible with you, even if it's only a pocket New Testament.
-Always have a back up plan.
-Always know where at least two exits are in a given room.
-If you can possibly spend an extra five minutes with a friend, do so.
-When you are walking away, never look back.
-When a friend is walking away, watch until they disappear.
-If you are having a terrible day buy yourself a candy bar, take a hot shower, and brew a cup of tea.
-Brownies are always best when frosted and eaten with a fork.
-Never wear headphones if you can help it-- you miss out on too many opportunities to talk with people.
-Try never to be caught without a pen and paper.
-No matter how badly you want coffee, wait until you're really in the mood. You know the difference.
-If you are going to bed long after dark on a clear night always take a moment to glance out the window and locate your favourite constellations.
-Never reject a hug, and never fail to give one where you deem it necessary.
-Don't cuss-- there's no point.
-When you get into a spat shuttup for half a minute and remind yourself the only one you are responsible for is you.
-Try not to be mad for more than an hour at a time.
-When you want a sweet, ignore what's in the cupboard and bake something yourself-- it'll bless someone else, and it's much better warm out of the oven.
-Don't forget what it is like to smile for sheer pleasure.
-If you think you know how to make someone's day, do it.
-Always strike up a conversation with your cashier, or whomever. It oft leads to an adventure, let me tell you.
-Don't argue with people who like to argue, debate with the curious.
-If you have a running joke, don't let it die.
-Make believe once in a while, but make it about something good. The real world is rotten enough as it is.
-If you are planning on watching a movie, pick something you already know is good.
-If you don't have to read or watch the news, don't.
-Don't be afraid to send one liners when you haven't time to write more; at least it's something.
-Dress up once in a while, just for the heck of it.
-If you are looking for a therapeutic activity, try ironing. :D
-If you can't take on a task, say so ahead of time.
-Even if you are not a leader, try leading now and again-- at the very least you'll appreciate your current leaders more.
-Unless you must, try not to confront people.
-Don't build yourself a bad reputation.
-If you have to be out in the cold for a while, have hot cocoa afterward and wear a warm scarf meanwhile.
-Always keep whipped cream in your fridge.
-Keep good pictures of your friends around, even the ones you're mad at.
-Pop a card in the mail once in a while.
-Never volunteer in classroom settings. Seriously.
-Try to either cry behind closed doors or on someone's shoulder.
-If you meet someone you like, keep in touch.
-Keep a prayer list.
-Wave back to anyone who cares to wave to you.
-Make lists for everything, just to be able to check things off.
-Enjoy muscle soreness. :D
-Always take the stairs, always hold doors for people.
-Unless there is a moral dilemma, finish every book you begin.
-If you don't have time to write, jot instead.
-If your computer is ticking you off, restart or unplug it. Humans will always have the upper hand. :D
-When you meet someone new, look them straight in the eye. When you run into an old acquaintance, give 'em a bear hug.
-Climb a tree now and again and when you can't manage that sit beneath it.
-Give everyone the benefit of the doubt regardless of their record, but keep your eyes open and take precautions.
-Spell things the British way.
-Switch accents now and again.
-Dye your hair purple randomly, just to switch things up. :D
-Try to keep your mouth shut, but when you do say something stupid maintain a sense of humor.
-Don't retell jokes unless you can do them justice, otherwise it's just stupid.
-If you are in a philosophical mood, pick up something by C. S. Lewis. That ought to cure you.
-Draw smileys in your letters for the heck of it.
-I don't care if you have a cell phone for a time keeping piece, wear a watch.
-A word on clothes-- jeans, a tshirt, and a hoodie are ultra comfortable, ultra practical, and never go out of style.
-If you have a space that's yours, make it your own.
-Enjoy all of the seasons in turn, make certain to sled at least once in a winter.
-Keep chapstick in your pocket.
-If you are tired and have the time to power nap, go for it. It works, really.
-If you are feeling poetic, write a verse or two.
-When you are in the car alone, crank up the music.
-Never under estimate how quickly five minutes passes.
-Keep a healthy level of insanity in your life.

Those are the musings of a fifteen year old. What would you add?